DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a large family, and we don’t see each other often. My mother passed recently, and my brother, who lives overseas, came home for the funeral. My brother and I haven’t spoken in 20 years, and at the funeral we barely spoke. He was in the United States for only a day; there was no time to catch up and repair our relationship. We had a close relationship in the past, but now that we live in different countries, we’ve grown apart. I haven’t reached out and he hasn't either, but since my mother died, I want to become closer to my family. How can I repair the relationship with my brother? -- After Mom, Sausalito, California
DEAR AFTER MOM: Write your brother a letter expressing your desire to rekindle your relationship with him. Remind him of how close you were years ago. Apologize for not reaching out in the past. Now that your mom is gone, tell him you want to be closer to him and that you hope he will want the same. Suggest that you start by writing to each other and possibly using FaceTime or Skype to get to know each other as adults.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)