DEAR HARRIETTE: My younger brother has recently moved in with me. I live in a two-bedroom apartment with my long-term boyfriend. Initially, when I agreed for my brother to move in, I thought it would be temporary, therefore I did not ask him to pay rent. It has now been almost two months, and he is still living in our spare bedroom. My boyfriend and I are getting pretty fed up with him lying around the house all day, and we want him to get a job. I keep bringing it up to him and threatening that we will kick him out if he does not get a job. It has gotten to the point where we are no longer speaking, but the situation hasn’t changed. I know that he is family, but what should my next step be? -- The Last Straw, Richmond, Virginia
DEAR THE LAST STRAW: Call a meeting with the three of you and lay down the rules. Tell your brother what your expectation had been for his stay at your home. Give him a deadline by which he either finds a job and starts contributing to the household finances or moves out. Stand as a united front with your boyfriend so that your brother understands that this is not an idle threat. It is real. When you reach the deadline date, be prepared to evict your brother if he has not lived up to the requirements.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)