Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Setting Up Family Member and Ex Could Be a Hit

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my family members desperately wants to get married but has horrible social skills. Overall, this person is nice and successful; she has a master’s degree and great credit, and she owns her home. But like I said, she has horrible social skills -- she either tries too hard or not at all. I would like to help.

I want to introduce her to someone I’ve dated in the past because I think they would make a great couple. There is a small problem: The woman I dated hints she wants to get back together, but I think only because she wants to get married. I’m definitely not interested. I think these two would be a great couple because they have accomplished similar goals, and both seem to be socially challenged. What are your thoughts about me introducing my ex to a close family member? -- Introducing the Ex, Seattle

DEAR INTRODUCING THE EX: Start with your ex. Be clear that you are not interested in being anything more than friends. Tell her that you have someone you think could be a great partner for her. If she seems interested, make it clear that this is a family member, so you want her to be sensitive to a meeting.

If she seems open to the possibility, speak to your family member and explain that you think your ex might be a great match for them. introduce them only if both of them are open to the idea. Obviously, you should keep your awareness of their social awkwardness to yourself.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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