Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Daughter-in-Law Ignores Family on Trip

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, I found out my husband borrowed $5,000 from our savings account and gave it to a female co-worker. When I asked where the money had gone, he lied to me. I recently found out the co-worker hasn’t repaid the money. She comes up with excuses, but has plenty of money to buy gifts for her grandchildren and new clothes for herself. When I reached out to her about it, she called human resources on my husband. He said no one at work likes her and she has a lot of personal problems.

Our marriage hasn’t been stable, and we need the money back. How do I get her to start paying us? I have reached the end of my rope, and my husband is no help. He gets mad whenever I ask about the money. Some advice, please? -- Show Me the Money, Milwaukee

DEAR SHOW ME THE MONEY: Sadly, this really is between your husband and his co-worker. Without something in writing that states what the agreement was, you can’t know all the details, nor do you have any protection against her. As difficult as this may be, you may never get that money back. Focus on your marriage and what you can do to address your issues. That is what is within your control.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)