DEAR HARRIETTE: Years ago, I found out that I was pregnant while away on vacation. I wanted to tell my mother in person, but I was so excited that I needed to tell someone, so I called my best friend and made her promise not to tell anyone. The next day, I got a call from my mother. She told me that my friend texted her and said I was pregnant. I was furious and called my friend and started yelling, cussing and calling her all sorts of names. We have since forgiven each other, but our relationship hasn’t fully recovered. This friend has lost a lot of friends because she can’t keep her mouth shut and has posted people’s business online. I’ve decided not to tell her anything I don’t want repeated, and now we don’t talk as much.
Five years later, I’m pregnant with my second child, and everyone knows -- except her. I’m visibly pregnant now, so if she sees me, she’ll know and be hurt that I didn’t tell her. Every time I think about telling her, I get angry again. What can I do to stop hurting, and how can I get my friend back? -- Pregnancy News, San Francisco
DEAR PREGNANCY NEWS: If keeping this information from your friend is truly bothering you, give her a call and tell her. Otherwise, focus on your pregnancy, and when you see her, you can both share the joy of the moment. If she expresses sadness for not having known, you can have a heart-to-heart where you explain that you have never fully gotten over her betrayal with the first baby.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)