Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Future Mother-in-Law Wants to Join Honeymoon

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a huge problem. My fiance and I have been together for two years, and we’re getting married next June. The problem is my soon-to-be mother-in-law. She is a wonderful woman, and we get along very well; however, she insists on tagging along on our honeymoon! She keeps pushing the idea of making it a family trip. My fiance told her that the honeymoon is going to be just for us. He tried to tell her we all could go someplace together another time, but she got upset. She abruptly got off the phone with him, saying she was "only joking," but she'd work on me.

This is becoming a nightmare. She's normally a pleasant and reasonable person, and I like her a lot. I don't understand how she can't see this is a huge intrusion. Can you help? I don't want to have to change my honeymoon destination to accommodate the three of us. -- Leave Mom at Home, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR LEAVE MOM AT HOME: You and your fiance need to get on the same page about this and stay strong. Your mother-in-law absolutely should not go on your honeymoon. Period. She may be feeling that she’s about to lose her baby, which could be why she’s being unreasonable. It could be that, selfishly, she just wants a vacation and doesn’t imagine that one will come for her anytime soon. Whatever her reasons, don’t cave to her emotions. Remind her that you love her, and ask her to stand down.