DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the years, I have had a contentious relationship with my sister. Whenever we talk on the phone, I expect to have some friction or for her to belittle me in some way. So I always have my guard up when we begin to talk.
For the past few months, ever since the family got together for our mom’s birthday, she has been nice. I’m not quite sure how to react to it. There have been no barbs or mean comments. Do you think we have actually turned a corner? Part of me is afraid to relax. I don’t want to get my feelings hurt again. -- Turing Point, Los Angeles
DEAR TURNING POINT: Claim the positive. You are strong enough to let your guard down and see what happens. Assume that your sister sees the value in being kind to you -- finally. If she slips and shows her mean streak from time to time, point it out. Tell her you like the “new” her much better. Ask her to stay nice.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)