DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a co-worker who has serious B.O. I think she washes; her face and clothes look clean, but I swear -- she seriously stinks! This is different from some other colleagues who are from other parts of the world who smell like their food, which can also be bad. This smells like poor hygiene. What can I say about it? I am sensitive to smell, and she is killing me. -- Cannot Breathe, San Francisco
DEAR CANNOT BREATHE: This is a tough situation and one that requires tremendous sensitivity. I’m not sure that there is anything that you should say to her directly. Start, though, by paying attention to your co-worker. Get a sense of her life. Sometimes people disguise their reality. Is she really OK, or is she struggling? Notice her patterns. If you detect that she may be in financial trouble or even homeless, you may want to speak to her to ask if you can be of support. If you bond with her, that’s when you create space to talk about hygiene. She may need basic supplies that she does not have. She also may not have been taught how to practice cleanliness. This is hard for an outsider to teach someone who isn’t asking for it, so you need to tread lightly. You might create a care package of your favorite toiletries and offer it to her one day -- discreetly. Tell her that you love these items and thought she might, too.
For your personal space at work, bring in air freshener. You might place potpourri on your desk to keep your area smelling fresh.
If things continue to be unhygienic with this woman, speak to human resources and ask for support. They may have a protocol to help employees follow codes of cleanliness.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)