DEAR HARRIETTE: I got my cousin a job a couple of years ago, and she has done pretty well in it. The thing is, she complains all the time about the pay. She says for the work she is doing, the job pays way too little. I think she’s right, but I’m not sure what she thinks I can do about it. I had heard about the job around the same time that she said she needed one. The skills seemed to be a match, so I connected her with these people. I cannot serve as negotiator for her; that is not my strength nor my role. I helped her, and now she has to handle things for herself, but she keeps calling me asking for my help. How can I get her to back off? -- Handle Your Business, Jackson, Mississippi
DEAR HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS: Have a direct conversation with your cousin. Remind her that you have done what you could for her: You opened a door so she could get a job. The rest is on her. If she thinks she is not being fairly compensated, she needs to speak up. But first, she may want to weigh all aspects of the situation. While she may feel underpaid, is she ready to be unemployed? This moment requires a positive attitude and a clear strategy for getting her to the next level. Coach her on keeping the right frame of mind to welcome success.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)