DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is a police officer. I am proud of him for choosing a tough job, but it is hard for me to listen to his stories. I am blown away by what he tells me he goes through on some days. After he tells me about those days, I am then stuck in fear for a month or more, worried about whether my man is going to come home at all. I don’t want to end this relationship, but I feel like we have to manage how much he tells me.
Am I wrong for not being able to deal with his job? I don’t know if I can handle it if we stay together, but for now, I know I can’t be privy to all of his experiences. I worry that he is going to die every day. He is not at risk of a gunshot wound or other dangerous incident every day -- it just feels like it. -- Keep It to Yourself, Washington, D.C.
DEAR KEEP IT TO YOURSELF: Many couples do not share blow-by-blow details of their workday on a daily basis. You can surely ask your boyfriend to keep his sharing to a minimum. Be sure to explain why.
Bigger than that, you two need to talk about the future. What can you handle? Not discussing his job doesn’t make it any less real. You have to be crystal clear about what you’re signing up for and be willing to accept the potential danger in your boyfriend’s job choice. Otherwise, it won’t work.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)