DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a guy who started his career at the same time as me, some 20 years ago. This guy stuck with the career path and has done well. I have floundered a bit. What gets under my skin is that he isn’t even all that good at the craft. What I see is that sticking to it counts for a lot. I think he had a lot more confidence in himself than I have had over the years.
Anyway, I am feeling kind of down because my career never took off. Seeing this man and his success has made me feel worse about myself. I know that envying others is a sin, but I can’t help but feel like I missed the boat and he didn’t. How can I change my attitude? -- Wanting to Be in Other Shoes, Los Angeles
DEAR WANTING TO BE IN OTHER SHOES: Thank you for your honesty. Recognizing the feeling you had when you came upon this man for what it is can be helpful. It is true that it can be hard to accept someone else’s success when you are not feeling successful yourself. But you are right to know that it is dangerous to envy this man. This will only make you fall into a deeper pit of self-loathing.
Consider this encounter from a different perspective: Running into this guy could serve as motivation. This may be your "aha" moment. It’s not too late for you to restart your engine and reinvigorate your career. Rather than letting this man get you down, let him inspire you to take a step toward your own goals and dreams. Turn this painful moment into a positive for your life.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)