DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was home for Christmas, I learned that my best friend from high school is engaged to my high school boyfriend. Given that we are all in our 20s now, I guess the fact that it bothers me sounds silly. I left my hometown when I went to college, but I go back all the time. I can’t expect anything of these people, I guess, but I feel betrayed. Of all the people to get together, why did my two besties have to do it?
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a long time ago, but I realize I never stopped having feelings for him. I know I should be happy for them, but I don’t know how I am going to be able to stay close to them if they get married. I don’t know what to do. How should I handle this? -- Still in Love, Rochester, New York
DEAR STILL IN LOVE: Unless you plan to make a play for your ex, you need to calm down and get yourself together. You lost your chance at romance with him after you moved away and the two of you did not stay together. Of course it hurts right now. But it would be wise for you to congratulate them, truly find joy for their union and cultivate a bond with them that honors their new station in life. This is not the time for true confessions.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)