DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a fancy restaurant with a group of friends the other night. We had never been there before, but we had heard the food is great. As we enjoyed our meal, I noticed from my peripheral vision that the husband of one of my colleagues was at the restaurant. He was definitely with another woman. At one point, we saw each other, and I spoke to him. It was extremely awkward. The way he was behaving with this dining partner seemed romantic to me, but I know he is living with his wife and kids.
I know this is none of my business, but I feel like I would want to be told if the shoe were on the other foot. Do I tell my colleague I saw her husband? If so, how much of what I observed should I say? -- Caught, Seattle
DEAR CAUGHT: This is tricky. Often when couples are experiencing the stress of one spouse cheating, the other is in denial about it, and there’s very little anyone can do or say to open their eyes. You should not try to convince her of anything. If you want to tell her you saw her husband, keep it simple. Tell her you went to the particular restaurant in question with your friends and noticed her husband was there. You two spoke, and that was it. If she asks who he was with, you can describe his dinner partner, but do not go into detail about the behavior you observed. Let it be enough that you tell her you saw him dining with a woman. She will have to take it from here.