DEAR HARRIETTE: My sons have been captivated by video games since they were little. They are now in high school, but the fascination hasn’t waned. My oldest boy just used a gift card to buy a video game. I got notice it had arrived at the store. I will pick it up, but I don’t want to give it to him yet. Even though he bought it with his “own” money, he has not started off strong at school. I want to make sure he is focusing on his schoolwork. Giving him a new video game this soon into the semester does not seem like a good idea. How do I withhold it from him considering he “bought” it? -- School First, Games Second, Baltimore
DEAR SCHOOL FIRST, GAMES SECOND: Make parameters for when your sons can play video games that include their homework schedules. Before they push back, establish the rules and explain why you have made them: namely, that there are too many distractions out there for them to stay the course at school without supervision from you. Being able to play video games, including new ones, is contingent upon them completing their work.
It doesn’t matter who made the purchase; you remain the parent. Enforce your rules by stating them and explaining that when they are followed, your sons get incentives, such as the new game that’s waiting for them.