DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time the U.S. Open happens, my parents start up again saying they want me to become a tennis player. I like the game a lot, but mainly I like to watch it. My dad played tennis in high school and college, and he wanted to go pro but never qualified. I think he wants to live vicariously through me.
The thing is that I like to play volleyball some, but more I’m into music. I play the clarinet, and I want to be able to see how far I can go with that. How can I convince my dad especially that I need to follow my dreams, not his? -- Music, Not Tennis, Raleigh, North Carolina
DEAR MUSIC, NOT TENNIS: It’s time to drum up the courage to speak directly to your father about your dreams. Point out that you know how passionate he is about tennis, because that was his dream as a young man. Make it clear your dreams are different. Sports in general is not at the top of your list, and definitely not tennis. Yes, you enjoy watching it, but you do not want to play it.
What you do want to play is the clarinet. Do some research on what you can do with the clarinet -- such as playing in an orchestra -- so you can tell your father how interested you really are in pursuing the instrument. Don’t overplay it, though. If you love the clarinet as a hobby, say that. If you want to consider going pro, let your dad know. Ask him to give you space to figure out what you want to do with your life.