DEAR HARRIETTE: My 90-year-old mother just moved into a retirement community because she could not live on her own anymore. My siblings and I have helped her to make this transition, and it’s going well. She seems to be more active since there are other people around. I live in a different state and feel like I want to go visit her before the summer is out. At the same time, I want to give her space to settle into her new home. Should I wait? She has been in this place now for about a month. -- Missing Mama, Denver
DEAR MISSING MAMA: I bet any and every time you visit your mother, she will be happy to see you. At 90 years old, she is likely in the twilight of her life, so each visit is precious. Ask her if she would like you to come at a particular time and how long it would work for you to stay.
Always honor your mother’s independence, even as she gets frail and in need of support. This will help her maintain her dignity. A visit to her new place could be great for her. As many parents do, she will likely walk you around to meet many of the residents and brag about her child. She will likely be in seventh heaven! Go now to see her, and go back again soon.