DEAR HARRIETTE: I have subscribed to a couple of dating websites for a few months because I am tired of being alone. I work all the time, so I have little time to go out and meet new people. Plus, some friends have had success meeting nice guys this way. I have gotten a few requests to talk more or even meet, but I’m afraid. I know I have to put myself out there, but what if the guy I pick turns out to be unsavory? How do I protect myself? -- Online Dating Novice, San Jose, California
DEAR ONLINE DATING NOVICE: Take your time. Pick one person who seems particularly compatible, and talk to him. Develop a rapport at a distance. You can use a face-to-face feature offered through the site. Wait to give your personal email address until you feel more at ease. When you feel confident and want to meet, recommend a public location. Do not give him your address. Get to know him slowly. If you are interested, you can meet each other’s friends over time. This, by the way, is what you should do if you meet someone the traditional way, too. Take your time. Use that as your mantra. Get to know the man. Do not become intimate with him. Talk to him. Enjoy his company. Over time, you should be able to sense whether he is an honest person.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)