Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Reader Should Invite Out a Few Co-Workers to Start Friendships

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started a new job and really want to make the best impression possible. The office is very close, and I still feel like the new guy after a few months. I have noticed that many of the employees go out after work for drinks or are interwoven in each other’s lives in one way or another. I’m not trying to be besties with anybody, but I do want to fit in. Should I try to organize an event after work so I'll be invited to one? All of my other post-work invitations must have been lost in the mail. -- Include Me, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR INCLUDE ME: Before organizing an event, consider your co-workers, and think about individuals with whom you may share some common interests. It might be better to invite one or two co-workers to go out after work for drinks before trying to host a big event. As you slowly build bonds with the people on the job, they may naturally choose to invite you to different events they are having. Or you may have to slowly develop your own core group of work friends. It’s best not to force the situation. Instead, grow relationships one by one.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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