DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to visit my family recently, and I was shocked to see how much weight my brother has gained. I want to say that he is probably 50 pounds bigger than he was last year. Naturally, he seems to be uncomfortable in his skin. His clothes don’t fit. He’s a mess. I know he is an adult, but he’s my brother. I feel like I should say something, but I don’t know what to say so that I don’t hurt his feelings. -- Big Brother, Boston
DEAR BIG BROTHER: Too bad you didn’t talk when you were face to face. The next best thing is to call him. Tell him you want to speak to him about a sensitive subject. Ask for his permission to proceed. Then tell your brother that you are concerned about him. Reveal that you noticed that he has gained a lot of weight since you last saw each other and that you are worried, given how quickly he put it on. Ask him what happened. Find out how he is feeling. Even if he is unwilling to talk about his weight, you can also encourage him to get a physical to ensure that he has no major health issues.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)