DEAR HARRIETTE: My 8-year-old sister keeps telling me that she wants a fish for her birthday. I want to get her something different, but she is being very persistent about this fish. My parents don’t want the fish either, because they are going to be the ones taking care of it. My sister says she will clean the tank and feed it, but she won’t. I need to gear her in another direction and toward a different gift. How do you suggest I do that? -- Beyond the Fish, New York City
DEAR BEYOND THE FISH: It is your parents’ responsibility to deal with your sister and the fish. They may even want to decide to get her a fish, show her how to care for it and then leave it to her to follow through. If she does not, the fish will die, and sadly, she will see cause and effect in action.
For you, ask your sister what else she wants for her birthday. Think about her interests and throw out some ideas to get her creativity flowing. Also, point out to her that even though it’s her birthday, she won’t always get exactly what she wants, so it is smart to have a few ideas. Encourage her to think about fun, affordable ideas that do not require so much responsibility. If you are able to get her to consider another option, you will be helping her and your parents immeasurably.
But still, do know that it is your parents’ role to manage the pet issue. My daughter has always wanted a dog. I am allergic (even to hypoallergenic ones), so we aren’t getting one, and she is clear about that -- even though she continues to ask from time to time.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)