DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a freshman in college, and I nanny for a family of five children. I’ve been working for them since I started high school, and I really like them. The oldest, "Simon," is 14 and in high school. Simon is delightfully awkward, but he has a crush on me, and I don’t know what to do about it. Originally, I hoped he would grow out of this, but now he writes me notes about how beautiful he thinks I am and asks me on dates. His parents see this behavior and don’t do anything about this. How can I handle this situation gracefully? I want it to blow over ASAP. -- A Decade Apart, Westchester, New York
DEAR A DECADE APART: If you want to keep your job, you must align yourself with this boy’s parents and get them to support you. Be proactive. Tell them how much you care for Simon as well as their other children, but that you are concerned about Simon crossing the line. Tell them about his behavior and show them his letters. It’s not enough that they see what Simon does; they need to understand from your mouth to their ears how Simon’s words and actions are affecting you and, more, how misguided they are for him as a developing teen. Ask Simon’s parents to talk to him and help him to draw a line between appropriate and inappropriate behavior toward you.
Beyond that, you can talk to Simon, too -- preferably in an open setting. Tell him that you know he cares about you based on his notes and his behavior. Qualify that you care about him as a friend, but not more. Acknowledge that you realize this probably hurts his feelings, but it is important for him to understand that he should find a girlfriend his own age, from his sphere of friends. You are the family baby sitter and cannot be anything more to him.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)