DEAR HARRIETTE: I know a friend who went to a formal date party with this guy who happened to be on a number of drugs. He was acting out of control, throwing things at people and at windows. He was all over the place. The people around him told him to stop, or they would call the cops. He did not stop, and they had to call the cops. When the cops arrived, they put the man in cuffs and arrested him. My friend told the cops everything, but left out the part where he pushed her. It did not sit well with her, and I would think she should fill in the gaps to the cops. Should I tell her? -- Formal Dates, Cheyenne, Wyoming
DEAR FORMAL DATES: Regardless of whether the date was formal or casual, it is never appropriate for someone to act out and behave violently. Your friend should have told the police that her date pushed her, and it’s not too late to do so. She can call or go to the precinct to inform the arresting officer of the additional details of the evening. If she is afraid that this person may retaliate if he knows that she told the police, she should make that clear to them as well.
If and when this person gets in touch with her again, she should be clear that she is not interested in getting together with him -- if that is true. If she thinks he will hear her, she can tell him about his behavior and about how concerned she was at his actions.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)