DEAR HARRIETTE: My senior prom is coming up in a month. Usually, the guys ask the girls to prom. At our school, it is called a “promposal,” and it is a big deal. I am not the kind of girl who likes to publicize relationships; I like to keep everything private. The guy who is asking me to prom wants to make it a big deal, but I do not know how to tell him I don’t want to be promposed to without making him upset. What should I do? -- Prom Girl, Rye, New York
DEAR PROM GIRL: This is a tough situation that likely requires compromise. Your date is proud to have you go with him and wants to brag about it, which is your school's norm. He may get teased for keeping it a secret. You must tell him that you don’t love the idea of the public promposal. Do not expect him to know this. Ask him if he can make his declaration as quiet as possible because you do not like being the center of attention. Talk together about a plan that you can feel comfortable with.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)