DEAR HARRIETTE: I have created new technology software that benefits existing tech companies. I have begun to attend events in my girlfriend’s circle, and I constantly get asked what I do. I explain that I work in software, but this usually leads to curious questions about specifics, usually followed by an “I don’t get it.” I honestly don't want to explain software that’s taken years to develop in five minutes, but I don’t want to leave a negative impression on people I want to impress. How do I steer the conversation away from work? -- Long-Winded, Seattle
DEAR LONG-WINDED: In most social situations, people like best to talk about themselves. In order to not get bogged down in conversation that turns out to be confusing for people, fine-tune a simple statement that explains what you do, then say it and pivot to a question asking what that person does. Normally, the shift is easy because people enjoy telling their stories. You can also pivot to talking about your girlfriend.
What you will likely find is that only people who are truly curious about technology and have some basic knowledge of it will engage you in more detail about your work. In those cases, it will probably be easier for you to engage in a meaningful way because you will have some common point of entry in the conversation. Even in this situation, remember to be a good listener as this will help you to stay in the flow of the conversation more naturally.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)