DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex and I co-parent our children, and we constantly get questioned by our family about the nature of our relationship. We have not been together for over two years, but our friendly discourse always causes my siblings to ask me if "Dale" and I are back together. I could see us reuniting one day, but for now I know we do better apart.
Does everyone deserve to know the details of our relationship? We are rocky enough as it is without family getting involved. -- Tired of Rumors, Cincinnati
DEAR TIRED OF RUMORS: Talk to Dale about how you want to handle the questions from family and friends. Agree on a strategy that protects your children and each other, and stick to that. I would recommend that you agree not to talk about your personal relationship with them at all. When they ask if you are getting back together, push back and tell them that what you are doing is parenting your children. You both are mature adults who love your children unconditionally, and you have committed to figuring out how to care for them so that they will be happy and healthy.
When people make comments about how well you two look together or how they can envision you being a couple again, you can thank them for their positive comments and leave it at that. Do not feel the need to explain yourself or your rapport with your ex. Should the day come that the two of you decide to test the waters again, do so discreetly until you are sure of what you want to do. Keeping folks out of your business may create space to rekindle something very special.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)