DEAR HARRIETTE: I work at a restaurant with counter service only. In my short weeks working here, my manager has begun to comment on my looks and put his hands on my waist. I complain about this to my friends, who are also 18, and they tell me to quit. I need the money, but can’t stand the harassment. Also, part of me wants to make sure he won’t harass other girls who work at this restaurant. Should I go on a quest for justice, or just quit and try to find a new job? -- Paws Off, Brooklyn, New York
DEAR PAWS OFF: This is an unfortunate and common occurrence in the workforce, particularly for young people. Your boss’s behavior is inappropriate and unlawful. Sadly, there is a chance that you could lose your job if you speak up. But this is one of those times that your voice is incredibly important.
The next time your boss touches you, ask him not to do that again. Tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable for him to make comments about your appearance and, more, to touch you inappropriately. Point out that you thought this would be a great job for you and you would like to stay working there, but you do not think it is fair for him to treat you in this manner.
Chances are, your boss will be surprised. He is likely banking on your youth being a deterrent to you being able to speak up for yourself. I also recommend that you look for another job. You may never feel completely comfortable there, given your boss’s proclivities. Unless you are prepared to sue and go the distance with him in court, make a plan for departing, but not without letting him know how you feel.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)