Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Now is the Time to Bring Up Idea of a Move

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always wanted to live in Argentina to learn Spanish and soak in the culture. I feel confident about getting a job there, but I don’t know if my husband knows just how much I have been thinking about it. We spoke about my desire to move to another country before we got married three years ago and he was receptive, yet now I don’t think he’d want to move. We are still in our early 20s, so it feels like now is the time. How do I bring up the option of a move? I don’t want to be gone for long -- two years at maximum. -- Cordoba Dreams, Boston

DEAR CORDOBA DREAMS: It’s very good that you introduced this idea to your husband before you got married. At least there is a precedent for the idea. You need to drum up the courage to state your dream. Start by reminding your husband of your desire to live in Argentina for a while. Tell him that it has been occupying a lot of your imagination and you want to think about it seriously before having kids (if you want them) and settling down entirely. Ask him if he would be willing to consider moving to Argentina for a while. Explore the idea, and suggest taking a vacation together there for starters. This is a way for both of you to check out Argentina and see if your idea will work.

Ultimately, you and your husband need to be on the same page as to whatever decision you make if you want to preserve your marriage. There is no one right answer. Every couple works out challenges together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I want my internship to extend into a full-time job. I have been an intern at this company for six months, and I hope that they see potential in me, which is why they keep me around. Would it be presumptuous of me to ask my boss where they see this internship going? I don’t want to waste time as an intern when I could be applying for other jobs. -- No Job Offer, Cincinnati

DEAR NO JOB OFFER: Internships are designed to be opportunities for students to get on-the-job training in their field of interest. It can be like an apprenticeship. And it’s normal to think that there is potential for an internship to turn into a job, especially if the intern is about to be available -- i.e., no longer in school.

By all means, go to your boss and pitch yourself for a full-time paid job at the company. Rather than asking where they see the internship going, tell them where you envision yourself within the organization. Pitch your skills and abilities, and remind your boss of specific examples of how you have helped the bottom line during your tenure as an intern. Ask directly if the company will consider you for a position in the coming months.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)