DEAR HARRIETTE: I have made a huge mistake. I asked my friend to pose as my fake boyfriend for a social media post to make my ex-boyfriend jealous. She wore a sweatshirt with her hood up while I faced the camera hugging my "boyfriend." Now, my ex has been badgering me for information about my new boyfriend! This is not what I intended at all -- I just wanted him to see this and want to get back together with me. Should I come clean about my "boyfriend" or just lie? -- Rock and a Hard Place, Seattle
DEAR ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: What do you really want? And why did you feel the need to make your ex-boyfriend jealous in the first place? Is this relationship worth reigniting? If so, come clean and tell your ex what you did to capture his attention. From there, you can attempt to have a frank conversation with him about your desires and hopes for the future and how he could potentially be part of it. You should think long and hard about your future, though. Trying to attract the attention of a man who is extremely jealous could backfire in the long run.
So, again, I ask what do you really want? Make a list -- in writing -- of the attributes you would appreciate in a partner. What appeals to you? What turns you off? List what you want for your future. Children? Type of work? Neighborhood? Sort through all of these questions so that you can get some clarity on how you want to plan your steps. It can be hard to look beyond the moment when emotions are high, but this is the only way that you can gain perspective on whether this man fits into your vision for your life.
(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)