DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever my husband and I are entertaining, "Jill" and her husband "Jeff" come over. Jeff makes me very uncomfortable because he likes to reference me being in the kitchen as where I should be. If I leave the kitchen, he jokes that my sink will miss me. These jokes are sexist, and Jill does nothing to stop them. I have been friends with Jill for only a few months, so I don’t feel comfortable confronting her about her husband’s behavior. Should I just ask my husband to speak to him man-to-man? I don’t know how else to resolve Jeff’s blatant sexism. -- Kitchen Has the Knives, Jackson, Mississippi
DEAR KITCHEN HAS THE KNIVES: Given the history of this behavior, my top recommendation is to sever ties with them. Talk to your husband and agree that Jill and Jeff are no longer welcome in your home. Clearly, Jeff is consistently disrespectful and thinks nothing of it.
If, for some reason, you are not ready to take back your invitation, you should speak up -- with your husband’s support. The next time Jeff speaks out of turn, defend yourself. Tell him you do not appreciate his rude commentary. Ask him to stop. Be sure your husband is in the room when you respond so that you have a witness and a support. He likely will have to ask Jeff to stop, too.
Honestly, is their friendship worth this confrontation? If not, just stop inviting them over to your house.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)