DEAR HARRIETTE: After a wine-filled night with friends, I accidentally told someone I strongly disliked them. Although I was inebriated, I do truly feel this way. I don’t want this moment to cause a rift in our group of friends. Neither of us was sober, and I am not sure if the person, "Dan," even remembers this specific moment. Should I apologize to him even though I don’t know if he remembers my distaste? -- Wine Night, Shreveport, Louisiana
DEAR WINE NIGHT: This is tough. On one hand, it would be great to apologize for getting intoxicated and loose-lipped. It’s always a good idea to acknowledge your mistakes and accept responsibility. The problem is that you do not want to lie to Dan, nor do you want to tell him again that you don’t like him. You could call him and say that you are sorry you spoke so strongly to him at the gathering. You can admit that you know everybody was drinking a lot, including you. Apologize if you offended him in any way. Do not lie. You can honestly be sorry for hurting his feelings even if what you said is true. If, when sober, Dan chooses to ask you if you meant what you said about him, you have to be ready to respond.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)