DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been banking on a scholarship to allow me to take classes that I need for my degree. I casually mentioned that I was applying for a little-known scholarship to my friend, and now I am receiving messages from her about which scholarship this is. I don't want to lessen my chances of getting this money. How can I convey to her that I need to remain competitive? I probably need this money more than she does. -- On My Toes, Denver
DEAR ON MY TOES: Rather than pointing your friend to the specific scholarship that you are seeking, tell her about your process. Let her know that you have been researching scholarship opportunities for a long time, attempting to figure out the right fit for you so that you will be able to continue your education. Suggest to her that she continue to do her own search to match her interests, skills and needs.
If she continues to press you about your scholarship of choice, just don't answer. You do not have to share this information if you do not want to. Learn the lesson, though, that it is better not to talk about what you are attempting to make happen before it happens. You leave yourself vulnerable to other people's thoughts or, in this case, possible usurpation of your dream. Do yourself a favor and claim the victory when it happens -- not before.
(Harriette Cole is a life stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)