Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Scorned Reader Shouldn't Sabotage Former Date

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a few dates with someone, but he never responded to my messages. You can imagine my shock when I saw him interviewing for a position at my company. I was asked my opinion on him, and I gave him a negative review because of how he treated me. Upon reflection, I possibly sabotaged him because of a situation outside of work. Should I change my tune on him, considering he is truly qualified for the job? I wouldn’t want karma to come back around and bite me like it could him. -- Mincing Words, Boston

DEAR MINCING WORDS: Think back on what you said in your negative review of this man. Were your words honest and accurate or conflated because of your hurt feelings? If you honestly believe that you were unfair to him based on his reaction to you, it would be wise to amend your comments. But tread lightly. You should not tell HR that you were so strong in your thoughts because he hurt your feelings. You can say that upon second thought, you have additional comments to add about this man.

If he does get hired, the day may come when you two get to talk. At that point, you may be able to tell him that his dismissive behavior toward you on a personal level definitely left you with a bad taste in your mouth about how he might behave professionally.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been taking appetite suppressants that I purchased online for a bargain. They make me feel sluggish and fog my brain, but I have lost a significant amount of weight. I love being skinny from these appetite suppressants, but I hate how they make me feel.

I feel like I have an angel and a devil on each shoulder -- one telling me to gain the weight and peace of mind back, while the other tells me to keep ordering the pills to maintain my figure. Who should I listen to? I love hearing compliments from my husband about how good I look. -- Skinny Minnie, Salt Lake City

DEAR SKINNY MINNIE: Next stop: your doctor’s office for a complete physical. Be completely forthcoming in speaking to your doctor. Bring the appetite suppressants that you are taking with you so your doctor can see exactly what you have been taking. Be frank in your discussion so that your doctor can figure out how best to help you. I’m sure your doctor will not recommend continuing to take anything that makes you feel sluggish. What may happen is that you get a prescription for something that can help you to stay the course without the negative side effects.

Please do not skip this important step. The medical tests that you will be given will evaluate the overall health of your body. It is very important to know if your organs are healthy. Sometimes taking these suppressants can wreak havoc on your body.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)