DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a long first name and am almost always referred to by my nickname, “Dani.” When I introduce myself for interviews or more formal occasions, I want to introduce myself as “Danielle,” but I fear I will be seen as stuck up. As I get older, is it OK to abandon the shortening of my name? I would prefer to be called by my whole name, but I don’t want to negatively answer “Can I call you Dani?” -- Full Name Only, Stamford, Connecticut
DEAR FULL NAME ONLY: Let’s start with your name: Danielle is not long. It sounds like you are part of a community that likes to shorten names. Living in a nickname culture can make it tough to reinforce a more formal name.
Here’s the thing -- your name belongs to you. You have every right to be called whatever you prefer. If you are asked if people can shorten your name, say no. State that you prefer being called Danielle. This may take time, but certainly in job interviews and other formal events, feel free to claim your full name. What happens for many people is that over time as they mature, their new set of associates and friends begins to call them by the name they put forth. Often, family and childhood friends will cling to your nickname for life. You may have to endure that. Later in life you may even consider it nostalgic.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)