DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year for Christmas, my mother makes cookies for all of our family and friends. She has been doing this forever, and it’s a lot of fun. My siblings and I are grown and have families of our own, but she still makes cookies for us. I’m worried that she is overextending herself, though. She is getting up in age and has arthritis. I have told her that it’s OK to make fewer cookies, but she won’t entertain that idea. How can I help her to see that it’s OK to slow down? -- No More Cookies, Savannah, Georgia
DEAR NO MORE COOKIES: Don’t steal your mother’s joy. She loves her tradition and should not be discouraged from contributing to the holidays in a way that is meaningful for her. Depending on your schedule and those of your siblings, you can offer to make cookies with your mother. Rather than her laboring alone at home, you can turn the cookie-making ritual into a shared family experience. Figure out who can be present with your mother leading up to the holidays. Then present the idea to your mother so that she welcomes the family in to participate in the baking. Ask her to teach you how to make her delicious cookies. Make it clear that you want to spend more time together as you also help her keep her holiday tradition going. You can also offer to make personal deliveries of the cookies when they are packaged and ready to go. This could create a new bonding experience for all of you.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)