DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the black sheep of my family, or at least it feels that way. I am my mom's first child, and she never married my dad. She married my stepdad six years later, and they had three more kids who are all completely different from me.
My frame is large, even though I’m not tall. The other kids are small-boned and skinny. I don’t fault them, but they do fault me. Whenever I gain a pound, somebody from my stepdad’s family is always commenting about how they can eat a burger or a pint of ice cream and be cool. Me, if I eat a spoonful of ice cream, I blow up. They laugh at me. It’s awful. I don’t want to hang out with them anymore because I’m going through a rough patch, and I don’t want to be criticized. I love my family, and I would love to be with them. Can you tell me something to tell my family so they will be kinder? -- Feeling Sensitive, Jackson, Mississippi
DEAR FEELING SENSITIVE: The best thing you can do is tell them how you feel. They may not realize what they are doing. Speak to the person you feel closest to, and explain that it hurts your feelings when your family is insensitive to you and your issues. Point out that you know that you do not have the same body size, and it makes you uncomfortable when they pick at you for being larger than they are. Ask them to stop.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)