Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Woman Hesitates to Work With Office Crush

DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to have a serious crush on this guy, but it didn’t work out. The timing was all wrong. That was about 10 years ago. We work in the same industry, and I recently saw him again. Turns out, he is working on a project I will be working on as well. He is excellent at what he does, so I know he will do a great job. My issue is that all of the feelings I had years ago flooded back in when I saw him. I felt like my heart was beating faster when I was in the room with him. I think this is crazy. I’m a grown woman, and this is a work situation. I don’t want to get caught up lusting for him and lose focus on the work. Plus, I’m too nervous to make any overture. Last time I really put my foot in my mouth. How should I handle this? -- Still Crushing, San Diego

DEAR STILL CRUSHING: Throw some cold water on your face and turn your attention to your work. You are an adult and a professional. Let your mature attributes outweigh your libido. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. The tug of the heart and loins is real. Keep yourself in check.

Do not flirt with this man. Do not dress up for him. Do not do any of the things you would naturally do when you are trying to draw attention to yourself. Stay laser focused on the job at hand. Be friendly, of course, but demonstrate you are a professional member of the team and it is your pleasure to work with him. The end.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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