DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother told me he was diagnosed with diabetes. When he went for a medical checkup, the doctor tested him and his A1C number was extremely high. He was prescribed a particular medication that should regulate his blood sugar. When he told me all this at the time, he seemed worried but relieved in the sense that his doctor had given him medication that should help get his body under control.
I spoke to him to months later to see how he’s doing, and he says he hasn’t started taking the medication yet. I was shocked and asked him why. He shrugged it off and said, “I haven’t started yet.” End of discussion.
I am so worried about him. When I looked up the effects of uncontrolled diabetes, it made my head swim. He could die if he doesn’t take measures right away. What can I do to encourage him? -- Sick Brother, Detroit
DEAR SICK BROTHER: You cannot control your brother, but you can encourage him. One way is to scare him. Do some research on the complications that diabetics face -- anything from thirstiness and frequent urination to skin problems, kidney disease, blindness, neuropathy, amputations or stroke. When his condition is controlled, your brother stands a much better chance of living a healthy, productive life. For more information, you can visit the American Diabetes Association’s website: diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/complications.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been going to a therapist for several years. In the beginning he was helpful, but now I’m beginning to question how serious he is about our time together. In our last session, he answered his phone twice. Though the calls were brief, they occurred in the middle of my paid-for time. In another recent session, he spent at least 15 minutes fidgeting with his smartphone while he was supposed to be listening to me. After a while, I stopped talking until he looked up and put the phone away.
I’m going to him to deal with sensitive issues. At the very least, I think he should pay full attention. Should I say something or stop going? -- Distracted Shrink, Philadelphia
DEAR DISTRACTED SHRINK: By all means, tell your therapist you do not appreciate his distracted behavior during your sessions. Point out all that you can remember, and make sure he is listening and receiving the message when you give it.
Depending on how you feel about working with him now will determine your next steps. If generally you think he does a good job and is still helpful to you, tell him you want to continue working with him, provided he is willing to stay focused on you during the entire session.
If you think it’s best to leave and find a new therapist, tell him you have decided to stop working with him. Thank him for the years he has helped you, and point out that you think it’s unprofessional to do the various things he has done in your sessions. Recommend he not behave that way with anyone else.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)