DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two teenage children, and I’m worried that I have spoiled them too much. At this age I feel like they should help more around the house, including doing their own laundry and making their beds. I know they have schoolwork to do and the workload is intense, but I see them slacking a lot. For example, when I remind them to wash a load of clothes, they often put it off and then forget while, meantime, I can hear them gabbing on the phone to friends or see them texting away. I don’t want to become a police officer at home, but I don’t know how to get them to take on household responsibilities without threatening to take away their privileges. -- Do Your Chores, Akron, Ohio
DEAR DO YOUR CHORES: Consequences are essential for teens -- and adults, for that matter -- when you want to reinforce rules. Take your children’s phones and other devices away from them until they have completed whatever homework and housework assignments they have. Let them fuss about it. Point out that the sooner they fulfill their responsibilities, the quicker they will have their freedoms. Place a basket at the front door, or in your bedroom if needed, where they can put their phones. Make it clear you are in charge of their release.
Pay close attention to your children’s homework and school assignments. Require them to show you their tests and homework scores. Follow up with their teachers whenever you are concerned about their performance. If you remain vigilant, you can help them to remember the importance of doing their work well and on time.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)