DEAR HARRIETTE: I had an almost-affair with a guy many years ago when I was having trouble with my husband. What I mean by that is, I went out to dinner with a guy and he kissed me before we parted ways. Nothing else happened, but apparently he was really into me. I say that because my husband and I ran into him at an event, and he walked up to us and told my husband he was my ex. What? I don’t even remember his name. I’m not kidding. His comment jarred me into remembering who he was, but I swear our encounter was nothing. How can I squash his overture? -- Long Ago, Seattle
DEAR LONG AGO: Tell your husband what you remember about this guy. As uncomfortable as it may be to reveal your slight indiscretion years ago, you are best off by keeping your husband in the know. In this way, this guy has no power over you. If going out with him helped you to see your marriage was more valuable than a potential fling, be sure to tell your husband that as well.
Use this uncomfortable moment as an opportunity to check in with your husband about the health of your marriage today. Are you both happy? Is there anything you can do to reinvigorate your life together? If you see this guy again, ignore him. By strengthening your conviction in your marriage, you neutralize his very presence.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)