Sense & Sensitivity by Harriette Cole

Son's Education More Important Than Material Things

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so lucky we were able to get my son into a private school that offers all the courses that interest him. This is a blessing, considering my husband and I cannot afford to pay the hefty tuition. We received a scholarship that allows my son to attend.

What has become difficult is many of the kids have a lot more money and things than my son. That is to be expected, but practically speaking, it is hard to manage. I don’t want my son to feel “less than,” but am unsure what to do to support my son and manage his expectations. -- Looking In, Washington

DEAR LOOKING IN: Your son is getting to see how wealthy people live. Consider that a good thing. The more he learns about the dynamics of the world, the better off he will be. Will he lust for things he doesn’t have? Probably. But that’s part of our commercial culture, isn’t it?

What you must do is remind him of your family values and teach him it’s OK he doesn’t have all the things that some of his friends do. What he is getting is a top-notch education. This includes access to see what money can and cannot bring you.

Suggest that he observe everything happening in his world. He will discover what types of jobs afford certain luxuries, the value of connections and relationships, the priceless value of honesty and respect, and the downside of excess. Encourage him to choose friends who share his beliefs, regardless of how much money or how many things they have.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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