DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a great job, and I make good money. I’ve worked hard for it, and I feel good that my education and commitment are paying off, but I also feel uncomfortable because most of my friends are struggling. I help them out in different ways, like paying for dinner when we all go out and buying them great gifts for their birthdays, but I’m at a crossroads as to how to be comfortable with my good fortune.
I know my friends aren’t my responsibility in that way, but I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging when I make improvements in my life, like redoing my kitchen when one friend can hardly pay her rent. How do I reconcile my circumstances in comparison to theirs? -- Uneasy, Boston
DEAR UNEASY: Being generous with your friends is a kind and thoughtful action. Be careful not to overdo it, though. You run the risk of creating expectations that you will foot all of the bills when you are together. Balance that out.
In terms of how you live your life, do it without talking about it. Make your improvements, take your trips and do what you do without fanfare. When your friends visit, welcome them to your home and share your bounty without bragging about it or revealing costs. Your low-key manner will help to ease the economic divide.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)