DEAR HARRIETTE: When do you stop trying to keep a friendship going? I ask because I made friends with a woman a few years ago, and we spent a lot of time together initially. I met her through a mutual friend who remains friends with both of us. But whenever I contact this woman to get together, she’s busy. I have been sending her notes every few months for about two years. Sometimes she writes back to say hello, but nothing has happened. I know how busy our lives can get, which is why I don’t necessarily think she’s brushing me off. But still, it has been two years. Do I give up now? -- Distant Friend, Jackson, Mississippi
DEAR DISTANT FRIEND: How important is this woman to you? You must decide. If you believe she adds value to your life, you can continue to check in on occasion. What she is making clear to you is that you are not a priority for her right now. I recommend that you cultivate the relationships that feel ripe for the harvest. One day, this friendship may feel more favorable. Until then, you will likely be left unfulfilled because she is not choosing to make time for you. Never forget your own value; you are worthy of respect and thoughtfulness. If you aren’t getting that from someone you like, step away until you believe you will be welcomed.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)