DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple of days ago, I attended a white-tie birthday party. On the invitation, it said that there'd be dinner and light hors d'oeuvres served. With this knowledge, I went on an empty stomach. There was no food in sight. I was famished, yet I felt like it'd be rude to ask where the food was. Could I have asked the host about the food if it said we'd be fed on the invitation? Other guests were murmuring about hunger as well. -- Hangover Management, Los Angeles
DEAR HANGOVER MANAGEMENT: One way to ask artfully about food at a party that has promised it is to ask the hostess when she plans to serve. If there is a bartender, you can also ask that person if he or she knows about the hors d’oeuvres service. Using the middle person, the bartender, to do the research could make it slightly less awkward because you then would not be asking the hostess directly.
If you ultimately discover that no food is being served, either stop or curtail drinking alcohol and leave the party when you feel it is time to eat something. You have to be responsible for yourself in all settings. When a party invitation says food will be served but it is not, or it is not enough, take steps to care for yourself by shortening your stay and finding food in a timely manner.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)