DEAR HARRIETTE: I have terrible difficulty sleeping. I have stared at my ceiling for hours without feeling tired at all. Melatonin no longer works for me, and my husband thinks I should go to a sleep clinic. I don't think this restlessness is worth spending thousands on to diagnose. I suspect he is getting frustrated by me keeping him up. Would it be terrible to sleep in different rooms until I figure out my sleeplessness? -- Solo Mission, Gainesville, Florida
DEAR SOLO MISSION: Guess what? There could be at least two rights in your story! You should heed your husband’s advice and see a doctor. Not being able to sleep is not a small thing. Every human being needs adequate sleep in order to stay healthy. Do not take your sleeplessness lightly. Investigate to discover what is at the root of your insomnia.
On your own, you can eliminate or greatly reduce caffeine and sugar, especially in the evening. Turn off all electronics hours before you go to bed. Quiet yourself to the best of your ability long before you turn off the light.
While you are figuring out how to stabilize your sleep, a thoughtful alternative to your current sleeping arrangements could be to sleep in another room. You can suggest this option to your husband as a way to protect him from your restlessness. Many couples, even in these modern times, live in separate rooms for this very reason. But do your marriage a favor and don’t stay in that other room indefinitely without agreeing on a mutually acceptable plan.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)