DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends and I have committed to camping at a country music festival in a few weeks. I camped as a child and teen, so I know that it won't be glamorous, but we will create some great memories. Right after we purchased the camping passes, our friend "Angelica" told us that she would actually rather book a private hotel room and would just have us contact her and meet her at the gates every morning. I don't roll like that. I think if she is going to exclude herself, she should be finding us. What do I say to Angelica so she doesn't get her way? -- Not Waiting Around, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
DEAR NOT WAITING AROUND: You absolutely can turn this around to be more of a responsibility for Angelica. Have her come with you when you set up camp so she knows exactly where it is. Agree to a time for her to meet you at your campsite in the morning. Make it clear that if she is not there at that time, she will have to call or text you to find out where you are. Do not agree to meet her at the gate. If she needs a pass to enter the campgrounds, let her know she has to purchase one so that she can move independently.
The point here is that Angelica’s desire for creature comforts in a hotel room is perfectly fine, but it should not require you or members of your group to coddle her in any way. If you establish ground rules for everyone, she will have to accept them.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)