DEAR HARRIETTE: I strongly believe one shouldn't drink alcohol to get drunk. I think drinking to the point of intoxication is immature, and you aren't respecting and savoring alcohol. I brew my own beer and have experimented with making my own hard liquor. I told my work friends about my views, and they made fun of me. They poke fun at me still, and I don't get invited out to happy hour anymore. What gives? I thought we were all mature adults. -- Connoisseur, Denver
DEAR CONNOISSEUR: Your friends likely think that you are being a hypocrite, given that you produce spirits, yet shun intoxication. As you probably know, whether intentional or not, many people get inebriated, at least on occasion, if they drink alcohol.
Your thoughts about drinking too much are judgmental, even if they do make sense to you and likely a slew of other people. Your friends probably do not invite you to happy hour because they don't want to feel that they are being judged when they want to relax and let loose. While you may all be mature adults, you have chosen to put your stake in the ground about others' drinking habits, and that makes some people uncomfortable.
One way to attempt to turn things around is to ask if you can join the group at the next happy hour, and offer to be the designated driver. This may give the group a laugh -- along with a practical way to include you in the mix. On your part, you will have to participate without sharing your opinions. Otherwise, it will backfire.
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)