DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is eight years younger than me. We've been married for 10 years now, and our age difference has never been an issue.
As we get older and grow together, I notice that I'm conscious and concerned about worldly issues. I enjoy museums and documentaries. My husband will watch and participate in those things because I do. What he really likes is going out all night clubbing or to concerts. I do like to participate in those things, but that's not my only source of entertainment.
As we get older, I see myself heading one way and him in another direction. I don't know if that scares me or if I should be thankful that I realize it now. We were friends before anything, so I know that if we did separate, we would be able to still be cordial.
I want to do more with my life than just clubbing and hanging out. He doesn't understand, though. To him, he's young, and that's what he should be doing. He told me, "I have all the time in the world to become boring. I'm young. I want to have fun before I no longer can." When he said that, my heart dropped. I didn't know that he found my new interests "boring" and old. How do we stop our age difference from creating a huge wedge in our relationship? -- The Gap, Philadelphia
DEAR THE GAP: You two need to talk. You chose each other. It doesn't sound like you need to split. More, it sounds like you need to create a plan where you enjoy each other's interests occasionally as you make space to allow each other to do your own thing. As long as your husband's clubbing or your museum hopping doesn't lead you into someone else's arms, it's OK for you to have your personal pursuits. Your goal, though, should be to carve out shared interests that you both genuinely enjoy and want to do together so that your time apart is less stressful.