DEAR HARRIETTE: Many years ago, one of my closest friends came out to me as gay. This didn't change our relationship much, and I supported him as he began to date men. As fate would have it, we both moved to Chicago to start new jobs and now live a short distance away from each other. We're having a great time and are both dating around, except now he exclusively dates women. We double date and talk about women now as though he forgot that he is attracted to men.
I have let it slide and never confronted him about staying honest to women about his sexuality. If he continues to have girlfriends, should I say something to him? I don't want him leading women on if he isn't truly attracted to them. The consequences could get messy. -- Where's the Truth, Chicago
DEAR WHERE'S THE TRUTH: Stop avoiding the elephant in the room and just ask him, when you are alone, what the deal is. Since he confided in you before, you have the right to ask. He may honestly choose to date women exclusively now. Find out where he stands. If your hidden worry is about his health, you can ask him that too. The reality, though, is that anyone who is sexually active should regularly be tested for sexually transmitted infections. So, rather than asking the question only of him, you should be checking yourself as well. Approach the health question that way, and you are likely to get an honest answer.
As it relates to what your friend tells his dates, it is not your business to reveal your friend's sexual history to anyone. You can suggest that he do so.