DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an incredibly strict diet. I compulsively count calories and exercise, but never to the point of malnourishment or hospitalization. I enjoy being thin, but I would never starve myself to the point where I look skeletal. I never thought about others noticing my eating habits until I was called out at a family brunch. I have a rule for myself that I eat only one-third to one-half of my plate and take the rest to go or have it thrown out. When my brother said how obvious my eating disorder was I was shocked. I would never make such claims about someone. I told him I am on a strict diet and he should mind his business, and an uncomfortable air settled over the table. Someone changed the topic, but it seemed like everyone was in agreement with him.
I didn't end up eating the rest of my food, but I am wondering what my next steps should be. Do I sweep this under the rug? Should I show my family exactly how my diet works so they won't be worried about me? -- No Disorder, Just Strict, Boston
DEAR NO DISORDER, JUST STRICT: The way you describe your controlled eating leads me to suggest to you that you check in with your doctor. Schedule a physical where your doctor checks your vitals. Tell him or her about your eating strategy, and let the doctor weigh in on whether you are indeed headed down a healthy path. He or she may recommend adjustments to your plan, suggest you visit a nutritionist or tell you if what you are doing now is right for you. Having a professional second opinion will support you and give you information to share with your family that will possibly get them to back off.
(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)