DEAR HARRIETTE: My job is not too lucrative -- I work in a local grocery store. I graduated from high school a few years ago, and I live with my mom. I have moved to the basement and have my own "apartment" down there.
Recently, I have been having some boundary issues with my mom. She'll come down when I have friends over or when I just want to be left alone. When I tell my mom to get out, she says that she is allowed in any part of her house. She's never acted like this before, and when I asked her what her problem is, I didn't get a response. What gives? I've lived in this house my whole life and have just started having problems with my mom. -- Need Boundaries, Queens, New York
DEAR NEED BOUNDARIES: You and your mother need to have a sit-down where you discuss the ground rules for living in her home as an adult. While this has been your home growing up, the tables turn after you are an adult. Find out what her expectations are, and share with her your desires.
As it relates to her coming into your space, think about how you ask her to give you privacy. Telling her to get out will definitely backfire, as it is a disrespectful tone to use with your mother. You may have created an argument simply in the way you requested her to go. Patch it up with your mother, and find a middle ground that you both can follow.